Wheel of Time Wheel of Fortune
by Channeling Wisdom
Summary: The title says it all...


Dislaimer: I don't own anyone or Wheel of Fortune in this fic except the announcer/host. But you know that.  
  
  
b~~~~The Wheel of Time Wheel of Fortune~~~~/b  
  
  
  
  
Announcer: Once again, it's time for the Wheel of Time Wheel of Fortune! Here's your host: Anaiya!!!!!  
  
Anaiya: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Wheel of Time Wheel of Fortune! Here are our contestants today: Matrim Cathoun, Moiraine Sedai, and Nynaeve al'Meera!  
  
//At Mat's name, girls swoon and clap crazily, at Moiraine's, several tomatoes are thrown, and Nynaeve's, some applause.//  
  
Mat: Oh, hi Tuon! And Tylin! And...  
  
Moiraine: Be quiet, farmboy!  
  
Nynaeve: Go right ahead, Mat! Scream in her ear!  
  
Moiraine: Hey, how come Lan gets to help you?!  
  
Nynaeve: He's my Warder and my husband now! A lot has happened since you've been dead, you bloody...  
  
Lan: Nynaeve, one of the first things Aes Sedai need are self-control. Remember? Nynaeve?  
  
Nynaeve: Yeah, yeah...okay, let's get on with this.  
  
Anaiya: Ooooookay! Do we want to know? No. Anyways... first puzzle- catergory is ter'angreals.  
  
Mat: WHAT?! I don't know a thing about those things! Bloody ashes, I don't even know what they are!  
  
Anaiya: Oh well. Too bad so sad. Should have become Asha'man, I guess.  
  
Moiraine: I spin first!  
  
//She spins, lands on $1000, and laughs evilly.//  
  
Moiraine: An R?  
  
Anaiya: Yup- there's five R's.  
  
//Moiraine stares in horror as she sees who is modelling and touching the screens.//  
  
Moiraine: RAND AL'THOR, YOU LIGHT FORSAKEN EXCUSE FOR A DRAGON REBORN, JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!!!  
  
Rand: Huh? Oh! Vanna had a day off, so naturally they had to pick the best-looking person who walked through the doors! So sue me!  
  
Moiraine: I will.  
  
Anaiya: Okay! The person touching screens is not supposed to talk- just touch screens, smile, and look nice. Now STOP! Moiraine?  
  
Moiraine: A T?  
  
Anaiya: There are six T's!  
  
Moiraine: Er...an S?  
  
Anaiya: Yes, there are four S's.  
  
Mat: How many letters are there anyways? The board is all white! Is that all one word?  
  
Anaiya: Yup.  
  
Moiraine: An M?  
  
Anaiya: Yes, there are five M's...  
  
//Two hours later, Moiraine has guessed all but Y, X, Z, V, and Q//  
  
Moiraine: Y?  
  
Anaiya: NO! AT LAST! NO Y!  
  
Moiraine: WHAT?!  
  
Nynaeve: HAH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anaiya: Your spin, Nynaeve.  
  
//She spins, lands on $500, and sighs.//  
  
Nynaeve: Er...a Z?  
  
Moiraine: You stupid! Why would there even be ONE Z?  
  
Anaiya: Good! There are ten Z's!  
  
Moiraine: WHAT?! ERR...  
  
Nynaeve: Too bad, poor Moiraine. A V?  
  
Anaiya: Yes, there are twenty V's!  
  
Nynaeve: Uh...Q?  
  
Anaiya: NOPE!  
  
//Mat lands on Bankrupt, which he already is, and Moiraine spins, and lands on $100.//  
  
Moiraine: HAH! X!  
  
Anaiya: Nope! I don't know how that's possible, but oh well.  
  
Nynaeve: I'd like to solve the puzzle!  
  
Anaiya: Yes?  
  
Nynaeve: Ok...Tjaodsalkfcasojnsaoccjnxiudsfhuashfoaushdosaiosaijfosiaduihxjcnlkxnmckxmcnxklcmxkmckxmckxmckxmzkcmkxlzojdfoijaoisiowzzzzz?  
  
Anaiya: THAT'S RIGHT NYNAEVE!  
  
Mat: Oh, I knew that! Anyone could have figured that out!  
  
Lan: Watch your tongue, farmboy! My wife's a genious!  
  
Nynaeve: Am I? So sweet!  
  
//Everyone is momentarily distracted as she pulls him behind the curtain and kisses him//  
  
Rand: I love happy endings!  
  
Moiraine: WHAT ARE YOU CALLING HAPPY?  
  
Rand: Them! Oh, I know! I know! You're mad because you hate her! You hate her!  
  
Moiraine: Very good, Rand! Get the doggie treat!  
  
//She throws a dog biscuit behind the curtain at Lan, Rand hurls himself at it, knocks over Nynaeve, breaks through the floor, and can be heard singing about falling through the floor after a dog biscut.//  
  
Lan: THAT BLOODY SHEEPHERDER! I'LL STUFF HIS-(at this point Lan goes off in a torrent that is censored for young viewers' purposes) Masiara, are you okay?  
  
Moiraine: Of course I am!  
  
Lan: I WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!  
  
Moiraine: Why not?!  
  
Nynaeve: GIVE IT UP!  
  
//She points to the red Malkeiri mark on her forehead, and sticks our her tongue//  
  
Moiraine: WAHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anaiya: Er...so...are we going to still play here?  
  
Nynaeve: It's Moiraine's fault.  
  
Mat: I'll take the money if we can leave!  
  
Anaiya: Deal!  
  
//She hands Mat the money, and dives into the hole in the floor, shouting, "To soar!"//  
  
Perrin: Hey, that's what Hopper said!  
  
Hopper: Yeah, that's copyright!  
  
Perrin: WHAT? Hopper, why are you here? NOOO!!!!!! GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD!  
  
//He runs up to the stage, and flings himself after Anaiya and Rand.//  
  
Moiraine: WAIT! YOU'RE TA'VEREN! YOU CAN'T JUST FLING YOURSELF DOWN THERE!  
  
Nynaeve: Go after him then!  
  
//She whacks Moiraine with her braid so hard that she falls after the three down the hole.//  
  
Lan: Nice one, Mashiara!  
  
Nynaeve: Thanks, Gaidin. Let's go!  
  
---Meanwhile, there's a party going on in the Wheel of Fortune basement...---  
  
Rand: This was a good idea, Perrin.  
  
Perrin: Can't you see that all my ideas are good?  
  
Rand: Well that's funny. Because I thought that you letting wolves in your head, going mad, and howling...were all really bad ideas!  
  
Perrin: Well anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude!  
  
Moiraine: GET ME DOWN!  
  
//Rand, Perrin, and Anaiya look up, seeing Moiraine hanging from the ceiling, caught on a broken beam.//  
  
Anaiya: Naw...we like you there. Then you can't eat any cake.  
  
And they all lived happily ever after...except Moiraine!  
  
  
THE END!!!!!!! 


End file.
